A day in the life of a garage door, door to door ‘sealsman’

The garages at Champleton House

Champleton House in Green Street stood, as it had always stood with its stoney fa?ade of high stone walls and castle like towers hidden behind a grove of lush green foliage. Just behind this grove lay the large iron gate entrance that led up to the garage. Behind these iron gates stood one Mr. Moffat, a tall youngish looking fair haired man who seemed with a look of anticipation, waiting for someone or something from beyond the gates. As he stood there patiently he seemed to be gazing beyond the bars and trees at something in the distance. Except for the occasional glance at his watch, he kept this beat like gaze ahead in front of him.  After a short while, another man appears like magic and with a definite movement from the main road, this other man, perhaps his early-mid forties approaches the gates and after courteous salutations the two begin to converse. The man in the suit gives all the anticipating body language and signals as if expecting the young fair haired man to allow him to enter. The young man stands fast, as if deciding resolutely that this conversation will continue behind bars.

“I’m here about your garage doors Mr. Moffat, as you are probably aware, global warming has caused wide spread climatic changes throughout the world, the average rainfall alone in this country has risen 25% on last year’s figures.”

Silence.

The man continues, “of course you do realize that in today’s economical and meteorological climate (no pun intended) the advantages and necessity for garage door bottom seals are only too clear. I know this may sound like just sales talk, but last year I sold a set of garage door seals to one elderly lady who hardly ever uses her garage doors. But since it protects the inside of the garage from water such as rain and floods, and against debris such as dust and garbage blown under the doors in the wind, it also insulates the garage and house in the winter. So she decided to buy a set. And I assure you she has been very happy with it ever since.”

Silence.

“And back to my talk on the climatical situation, not only can you purchase these garage door bottom seals at an extremely low bargain price, but also help protect your property against the climatical elements.”

He smiles after his final delivery, he spoke with gestures and sincerity and seemed above all, someone who knew what he was talking about. Unfortunately, his pun on climates fell on deaf ears, as the receiver who still hadn’t replied, seemed to pretend to be perplexed with this man’s comments on economics, storms and meteorological viewpoints.  Nevertheless the Silence remained.

The salesman persisted.

“We guarantee”, he went on, “that by having these seal installations, the value of your property will increase by an average of 7% by not only protecting your garage and its contents but by also increasing insulation and thus reducing energy costs during the winter months.”

The salesman completed his pitch with a smile but gave his best refusal- expecting-pity-face. He’d been through it a million times.

“I’ll take 22 sets.” George Moffat finally spoke.

“t,t twenty two?”  The salesman replies in slight state of disbelief.

“Yes, Champleton House has twenty two garage doors, therefore I need 22 sets of garage door bottom seals.”

“Thank you Mr. Moffat, you won’t regret this, here is my card and the necessary application and payment forms for you to fill out. I will return tomorrow to pick up the forms if I may.”

And without another word the young Mr. Moffat takes the forms and retreats back to his house.

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